I moved.

If any of you still like me enough to add the new name to your friends' list, I will quickly add you back.

~risse_fallender

...

i am in canada.

(be home..i have no idea when. soon, i hope.)

I'm on a Tori kick if you hadn't noticed and here: in my head is making my smile.

"I prefer my piano to people. It's totally reliable and it's alive. I can hear what it's saying. For the most part, pianos are female to me. Sometimes they're dykes, and they're always good fun." - Tori Amos

So true... everything has a voice if you know how to listen.

The sky's flickering now; it's grey as I've ever seen it and the air has coiled over on itself until its so hot, so humid, that even breathing is a difficulty. Dad is throwing things and I can hear the echo of his voice. But I really don't mind, today.

the sky has fallen (finally)
over a world without breath
dusk, damask,
dawn and dead birds' wings
weave a net of pale trans-
parent lucid silence.

(hush, hush children. i can not feed your screams.)

the far removed superior suburban race
arrogant but naked
beneath shallow flimsy clothes.
we are children (too curious)
with banner-bright burned hands
timidly trembling to dust again.

(i told you it had gone too far.)

Okay, so there's this survey thing that seems to have caught on... where I take the questions scarreddreamer asked me, post them in my journal with answers, & then anyone who wants can comment for interrogation. I'm not sure anyone will reply (not very many read my journal anymore ^^) but I'll try to think of interesting questions.


1 ~ What is your favorite Ajah, and why?

Probably Green... although at wotmania I adopted Blue, Greens seem the most human. Not to mention the 'benefits' they get from their warders... ^_-

2 ~ How did you come to pick your name?

It's from wotmania again. I'm Clover there, and this journal was made by a wotmaniac friend.

I think it gets confusing for some people though, 'cos in real life my best friend's nickname is Clover, and she occasionally gets mentioned here. Tis a v. long story...

3 ~ What got you interested in The Wheel of Time?

My brother was reading it. He's three years older than I am, and he said it would be too long/difficult/good for me. I decided to prove him wrong... even though I was 11 at the time. ;p I finished the first eight books in four months.

4 ~ What is your favorite book (or book series)?

From WoT - The Shadow Rising.

From everything... Neil Gaiman's American Gods. If you haven't read it yet, you should get it now. ^_^

5 ~ Have you ever attempted any sort of fanfiction?

*thinks* I did an HP fic once about the four Animagi, but it didn't get very far. I'm always afraid of desecrating the authors' works. There are several dozen storylines inside my head, though.

i hate these mood swings. ._. *stares at hand..* yeah, i'm going to write now and ignore it.

i no longer want yuki to be the average self-reflection of teenage angst and drama. i think she has the potential to be more than that. i want to write this story..book? with some kind of meaning to complement the expression.

but i need to work on the plot first. my new layout decorates a song i've been thinking much about. it's going to be wound in, somehow. not suicide..but pain & misunderstandings & some kind of life/death controversy.

the characters are coming together too. yuki is snow white, so she must have her seven dwarves.

there's...

allegra: female, black, laid back style. very gifted jazz pianist with fire in her hands.
jaime: allegra's male counterpart, also black; was a bouncer at the club where she plays. got out of the job after his right arm was slashed and is now trying to live quietly. very calm.
nine: gothic girl from san diego, something of a drama queen. [pale] white and probably bi.
iris: black girl with violet eyes. rather intense, and comes from a very bad home situation. she and nine are extremely close.
sam: male, white. computer geek/hacker. the most well-to-do of the group, hopes to start a business. 's not a brave person, but very loyal to yuki.
sienna: latino girl. lives for music and dancing...needs better developed character.
ana: white [german] female. new to chicago, very quiet and shy. group sweetheart.

on other note... i might have a boyfriend soon... heh, but it's as confusing as hell.

it's sunday. i don't like sundays much, but that's okay 'cos soon it will be monday.

i went to sleep at three last night and church was at seven so. i really wished i had my red quilt blanket... i could've crawled off into a corner and slept through the music, and i don't think many people would have minded.

during announcements a man i know stood up, and he talked about a cancer fund and how glad he was to be a survivor. he has this sweet little baby (she really is perfect..i drew her once and give him the picture). at the end of his speech he said, "sometimes god gives you a gift like my beautiful daughter here."

it made me smile like the corners of my mouth were being tugged upwards by sadness. 'cos i don't want to picture her without a daddy, but i don't have to, so i can still smile.

i'm thinking of maybe becoming religious again just 'cos i like my church. i could feel more genuine there. and i could plant a garden for them; right now there's only shrubs.

which reminds me. i have three beautiful pictures of the purple iris outside my den window. they're amazing..but only 'cos the iris is.

i really wanted to go to jim's house today. but my parents are being difficult as always..i'll keep trying.

add to list of things that make me smile --

the mist of a garden hose filling the sky, with a color rainbow lingering shyly at the edge of its arc. the scent of soil, wind and water (my very own kind of rain). hands brown and black and hidden peach, carefully tucking seeds away. how amazing it is that towering crimson, sapphire, and golden flowers are born from such tiny things.

i am sad for gardeners who wear shoes.

sweet woodruff has taken over the side path; it's flourishing thick. maybe i will take some leaves and make maywine out of them.

my father accidentally tore a valley lily out of the shade & tossed it unconcernedly aside. though we have hundreds, i still dug a tiny hole and covered its roots. he laughed at me, but i hate untimely deaths.

i slept over at clover's house last night. it was good... it is so comfortable waking up there, seeing her face, hearing her parents laughing and singing in the kitchen.

her mum said something lovely & profound. even if it wasn't directed at me, i am acquiescing now.

“try happy.”

brushtip wings: i just need ta figure out..where the sel. image comes into play...
Fumetsu Kokoro: no you dont!
Fumetsu Kokoro: sleep!
brushtip wings: lol, i have one computer that can't show .js files, and one that can't show html that incorporates .js files but .js works just fine *rolls eyes* I HATE YOU STUPID SPAWN OF SATAN'S PATHETIC IBM SCUM!!!!
brushtip wings: *cough* ahem
brushtip wings: la di da...
Fumetsu Kokoro: wow, thats amazing, but i have almost no idea what youre talking about! =D
brushtip wings: yes, it's like... you have a jigsaw puzzle and two pieces that fit in the board, but they don't fit with each other, and they need to, and...
brushtip wings: screw metaphors?
Fumetsu Kokoro: gyeh... kay
brushtip wings: exactly
brushtip wings: i sleep too much... good night

er. i can't code without extremely sugary things, such as mountain dew. they become my life line... .-.